Terror by Day, Terror by Night

Has he finally come for me? I believe he might be on the way this time. When an animal feels threatened, they claw their way out of a corner. And animal, he is. And cornered, he feels.

I had often wondered what way it would be that he comes. Would it be alone, at night, from the darkness? Would it be with my family, to punish their support? Would it be somewhere I would not expect it, like the parking garage or grocery store? At a large public place to make a spectacle?

Would he threaten me? Choke me? Shoot me? Beat me?

The criminal mind cannot be underestimated. The brilliant stalker can go undetected, unsuspected, and unpunished. Even if you know there is a problem, convincing someone else of the problem is not as easy. The insanely brilliant are more sophisticated than shooting it out in a blaze of glory. They hunt a man like they hunt wild game. Lay a trap. And wait.

I should have suspected the way he has arrived this last time. Why did I not think of this? Why did I not see the trap. The legal system. The very shield he hides behind is the one that is supposed to protect me. Yet he has cried the victim’s cry for so long while I upheld the silence of dignity, that I have become the one appearing as cold and calculating. Brilliance. Absolute, manipulative, criminal brilliance.

I fear the future. I fear the flaws of the legal system. I fear what is required if I fight back. I fear the gamble. I fear his win. He wins every time. He always wins.

I an usually more positive, hopeful, prayerful. But today is one of those days. In honestly, I’m tired today. Beat down. Feeling defeated.

I always come back. But today, I’m just being honest. Vulnerable. Pray for me.


2 responses to “Terror by Day, Terror by Night

  • Aussa Lorens

    Ugh, I hate how much I relate to this. I lie in bed thinking similar thoughts… I can’t brush my teeth without worrying that I won’t hear him coming up the stairs or something. Agh.

    • hauntedbythehunter

      That is why I have started this blog, to increase awareness of partner crimes. Most law enforcement officials I report to appear to think I am overreacting, however they only see one puzzle piece of a very large puzzle. Connecting the dots to form a true picture is more difficult, expensive, and time consuming, but I am currently trying to do just that. As I find things that succeed, I want to share with other victims of partner crimes so they can utilize methods that I find helpful. I hope to have lots to say as I go along this process to help others.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: